you're collared mate....

Having 6 cats, I obviously need to buy 6 collars, don't I?  Wrong...

6 collars purchased and attached to cats.

1 collar lost within hours, thanks Tatwo.

Replacement collar bought.

Spare replacement collar bought.

Spare spare replacement collar bought.

If anyone is looking to buy shares, I'd recommend investing in cat collar companies....

Game, Set and Match...........

I've recently changed Stella's walk routes to give her new interests.  I failed miserably.  We went to what was my local rec (park) when I was a kid.  Back then we had a huge lump of concrete, on top of which was a huge lump of crazy paving. If you managed to climb that without killing yourself, on top of all that was a slide.  A double wave slide that you either hit your back or hit your head on.  Less slide, more sui-slide.

That has all gone now, to be replaced with a toddler area, swing area and a basketball pitch.

Which would only have to double up as a football pitch wouldn't it?  

Around all of this is grass.  Lots and lots of grass.  Full of teenagers playing 5 a side. Or any other number a side.  And father and son combos kicking about balls.  Or young lads leaving their ball lying around while they paddle through an ice puddle and getting stranded in the middle when their shoes get sucked off by the mud.

Stella. Was. In. Heaven.  Wherever she turned, a ball came sailing past her.  The temptation was too much, while paddlers were unable to move, the ball was chased, with only my authority to stop her.  So she licked it to make the point that she'd touched it ner ner ne ner ner.

And off she went to the match.  She was a very good spectator.  Until she decided she was using her ball as a goalpost and went legging it after their ball.  One very clever teenager who was in goal picked her ball up and starting playing catch.  Too much sunshine, nobody touches The Ball.  After all this embarrassment we walked off with their laughter ringing in our ears.   And then the shouting started....

Oi, can we borrow your dog?!  She's better than him in goal.....

School ain't what it used to be....

Demon came out of school giggling yesterday.  I asked her what she was laughing at.

Demon: We did speed reading practise today.
Me: ok....
Demon: Someone read about a lady who had a baby.
Me: Oh right
Demon: She said it was like "shitting a melon!"
Me: WHAT?!
Demon: It's ok, we told the teacher.
Me: Who gave you the book??
Demon: The teacher...
Me: Oh.....
Demon: Then somebody else read another book and that had loads of pages about female dogs....
Me: ...erm???
Demon: You know...THAT word!
Me: :-O  Where did she get these books from?!
Demon: The library.

Teacher has obviously not read the books methinks!!  Demon knows the word 'bitch' as I used it about Stella. 

Me: Stella's a bitch.
Demon: That's not nice!
Me: What?
Demon: Calling her that! That's not nice!
Me: ...that's the name for a female dog...
Demon: WELL I DIDN'T KNOW DID I?!

Hmmm. She knows the 'B' word but doesn't know the correct term for a female dog...mebbe I need to speak to the teacher!!!

Newsround...

Dear Blogettes,

It's been a little quiet lately hasn't it?

I say quiet............

Living on a main road, I like to try and maintain a little privacy and had hung some voiles in my windows.  I say had.....  I now have some artistically customised voiles, with a paw shaped hole in a random pattern.  These have been very carefully placed to allow for the irregular hem at the bottom.  Some might say jagged, but I think the cats would prefer 'asymmetrical' to be used.

I  am also one plant pot down.  When I say down I mean 'down on the floor in two pieces'.  At which point the cat walked off with a shrug of the shoulders because there was nothing in it....

I read recently that it takes 500 years for a plastic bag to decompose.  They clearly haven't been to my house.  A plastic bag here takes less than 30 seconds to be destroyed!  And Stella does her bit to help them...by emptying it of anything edible.

I knew for a while that the cats would be coming to live with us, so I built up a supply of toys.  They have rope toys, toys with bells, toys with feathers, knitted toys, activity toys and two scratchposts.  And their favourite toy??  That's right......


The empty yoghurt pot....

Feeling their feet...

The cats are slowly settling in.  

Tatwo apparently got out of bed the wrong side yesterday and was beating up anything that moved.  Mostly Stella but Demon got bitten and poor Summer was chased out of every room she happened to be in...mostly because she was in the room and, well, Tatwo wasn't happy with that.  So, having been smacked in the face by Tatwo, Summer decided to pay it forward....and smacked Stella in the face for looking at her.  Every time Stella walked past Tatwo she got swiped across the legs.

Needless to say that didn't go down too well with Stella, and much shouting at cats took place.

Midnight watched Titch playing with a carrier bag.  She slowly crept up behind him....and stuck her claws in his bum.  I think I saw every gymnastic move known to mankind, all in one three foot vertical leap.  Because Midnight had been mean to Titch, she was chased all around the house by TC.

I went to bed early last night.

Valentine's breakfast

Demon brought me breakfast in bed today. Whether I wanted it or not...

As I can't give her pocket money, when she was 6 she came up with the idea of making me breakfast in bed for Mother's Day as my present.  And it was decided that Valentine's Day would be the same.  I love it, the only time I get pampered and I make the most of it.

Until Mother's Day last year.  Demon gets up really early at the weekend. Only at the weekend - during the week it takes a hoist to get her out of bed.  So, she decided she was going to let me have a lie in.  Very thoughtful you might think.  

Only, Demon thought about the lie in after she started organising breakfast.  There was cereal, in a bowl...with added orange juice.  Realising her mistake of using orange juice in the bowl rather than the glass, she stopped pouring.  And added milk. 

It was served to me, and I can honestly say, it takes a mother's love to get through orange flavoured curdled milk and cornflakes after an hour's soak in the bowl!!

Summer...

Summer is the odd one out, as she is not part of the  litter.  She's quite shy, but has developed a crush on Stella.  She will smack her in the mouth one minute and be kissing her the next.  Tonight she's taken her adoration of Stella one step further and has been cuddling...the ball....

Today she has decided her favourite toy isn't the multitude of toys, balls or bits of string that have been provided for play.  Oh no, she wants the dog lead...

Oh no, my mistake, now she's playing with the dog kibble...

Message from Summer:   5rtfggggxxcv olp;  

She wants to work the craptop, she just hasn't got over her dyslexia.....

Redecorating...feline style...

Due to my new babies, I've had a rethink about my life. About what I want, and what material possessions mean to me. I've always been spiritual, but now I have found the perfect religion.

I am now a MINIMALIST!!!!

When I get up it's like having a new house. Like one in Beirut, Afghanistan, Iraq.....

If it's left out, it's fair game apparently. Though to be fair, they've cut the need for dusting right down!

Home sweet home...not!

What's the first thing you look for when you get home?  Yep, the German Shepherd.

Even more so when you get home to find you've been burgled.

OK, she's standing, happy, not bleeding.  That can only mean one thing.

The cats have been playing.

EVERY surface in the living room cleared and contents on the floor?  Check!

Plant on it's side?  Check!

Potatoes and onions scattered all over the kitchen floor?  Check!

Hair bobbles all over the bedroom floor?   Check!

Brings a whole new meaning to the term 'cat burglars'.....

The madhouse just got madder...

Stella was lying on her bed minding her own business, which is a miracle in itself.  Soon she was joined by Tatwo, her soulmate, with his stripey ball.  The others were slowly clearing every surface in the room, and running around like lunatics.  Stella suddenly realised that she had company...

Stella:  Cat in my bed....not happy with that...oh now there's a cat in my face..and there's another cat, oh it's gone....gonna get this other cat instead...and where the hell did that cat come from......ANOTHER CAT?!?!  MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMM.... we're being invaded!!!!

Stella was so stressed she needed to recover...

The odd couple...

Tatwo and Stella were bum to bum on the sofa, Stella asleep snoring and Tatwo watching the tv until he too fell asleep. Tatwo woke up, got up and wondered over to the arm of the sofa, where he sat watching her sleep.  

And whacked her across the ear.

Stella: Whoah, what, hey who, where am I?

Tatwo: Stop snoring.

Stella: What?

Tatwo: You woke me up snoring.

Stella: erm....

Tatwo: don't let it happen again, you hear me?

I told Tatwo off, and he sat looking at me, still with one paw up in the air, trying to look innocent.  Poor Stella, she stands no chance.

Tatwo

Tatwo is the bravest of the cats.  The first time he met Stella was because he strode into the living room, barging through the baby gate with a HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO I'M HEEEEERREEEE!

Needless to say, Stella was a little stunned by his prescence.

Stella, being obsessed with her football, has met her soulmate. Tatwo has a little stripey ball that he loves.  He carries it around in his mouth, and when Demon goes to bed, he sees that as his signal to go up with her.  Not to go to bed, oh no.  He spends the next couple of hours standing at the top of the stairs, dropping the ball down said stairs, watching it bounce until it's nearly at the bottom, at which point he charges down the stairs wearing his lead bottom clodhoppers to catch it.  And then back to the top...to start all over again.

He's very possessive of his ball, and when it is time for bed he will hide it safely so the others won't play with it.  His choice of hidey hole??  The cat tray............

Snow way to play!

Demon spent much of our trip to the field with her friend shouting "push me over!!".  Her wish is my command, and Social Services, you can't touch me... :D

Stella decided to switch from one side of the field to the other by means of a shortcut.  Normally, this goes without incident.  However, several inches of snow covered up the mini ditches, and as Demon ran full pelt through the short cut....she fell over, face first into a mini snowbank.  Being the caring mother I am, I asked if she was alright...and took a photo :D

Later in the day, after her friend had gone home, Demon and I took Stella for a walk to a different place.  She was hooning around enjoying the snow when she saw Demon bending over to make a snowball.

Stella obviously remembered our earlier bimble in the snow...and ran towards Demon, bouncing around and stopped sideways on...and with a flick of her hips knocked Demon head first towards the ground.  Only, this time around, Demon didn't have her ski trousers on.  She ended up on all fours with her bum up in the air shouting at me to help her get up so she didn't get wet.

Being the good mum I am I checked my pockets...but the camera was at home.

Snow chance of catching me!

Stella Bella Umberella has discovered snow.  She's highly impressed.  It makes her able to run at supersonic speed apparently.

I took her, Demon and Demon's friends to the quagmire which for once was actually solid enough to walk on rather than through. Demon and her friend started making snow angels.  Work in progress there girls, you actually need more than 1 cm of snow.

Stella, meanwhile, was hooning around at top speed, charging towards us at a hundred miles an hour, thankfully going around us rather than ploughing into us, but it was often a close call.  She went so fast, that by the time she finally put the ball down, she was miles away from us, and by the time we got near enough to watch her pick the ball up and leg it, the ball was covered in a layer of snow.  

Ball picked up...check

Ball shaken... check

Dog surprised by snow in face...check

Dog running away from snow in face...check.

Ball put down to get covered in snow again....check

And repeat....

By the time we came home, Stella had changed from a black and tan to a white German Shepherd, and waited until we were IN the house to shake it off.  Thanks Stella, but I suppose the walls did need a wash... after you shook all that mud off the last time we came back from a walk....

Every day is a school day...

This morning I jumped out of bed, yelling at Demon to get ready as it was 815...actually I was so tired from two night of broken sleep that I had failed to spot it was actually 715.  One child at school on time for once!! :D  The cats were amazed how fast a human being held down by four cats can move...

I have this week off work, so at lunchtime I took Stella went for a walk at the quagmire.  She was treated to a splash in the brook, but she was ever so slightly less than impressed.  I'd say it had something to do with it being very cold judging by the glare thrown in my direction.  Back in the field she met a couple of new dogs very briefly, then all hell let loose...the Labradoodles arrived.  Boy Labradoodle charged around and Stella was in heaven.  Girl Labradoodle, who doesn't normally go offlead was allowed to join in today.  She ran up, got the ball... and legged it, with two dogs in hot pursuit.  Stella didn't know who to chase first, which is a good job as she was so slow and far behind, they were coming back while she was still going.

Shortly after this happened, another German Shepherd turned up, and with a dog and two bitches to take a shine to...chose the boy dog...  Girl Labradoodle doesn't particularly like that German Shepherd, no doubt being snubbed in favour of a boy has dented her pride a little, so she went back onlead.  As the two male dogs stood shouting at each other, Girl Labradoodle stood still having her lead attached.  Stella sneaked up, grabbed the ball and yanked it out of her mouth and was off, pretending she was clever.

As we headed home, she decided she was going to have a drink from the puddle.  She stood on it, realised it was frozen, did an impression of Bambi on Ice, fell over...and then looked at me to see if I'd noticed.  I think the giggling gave me away. 

So, having established water freezes solid in cold weather...she went to the next puddle....and tried to paddle in it...

Facebooking today...

Tatwo, being the well behaved cat that he is, has taken up residence on the sofa and has run rings round Stella. He likes to watch telly. Tickles is now being big and brave and approaching Stella slowly. Stella is being a star with them - so far! I'm worn out with all this excitement lol. 

 Tickles likes to dribble on laptops, sit on your arms while you're typing and wash his bum. Nice. 

 Stella won't get off her bed, last time she did that Tatwo nicked it.

Let the invasion begin...

Tatwo is a very confident cat.  The first I knew of his presence in the living room was when the babygate went CLANG.  

Tatwo: Cat coming through!

Stella: Huh?

Tatwo: Oh...sorry, did I wake you? Are you a significant person?

Stella: Huh?

Tatwo: Oh I wuv you Stella Bella Umberella, gis a kiss...

Stella: Huh?

Tatwo loves to have kisses off Stella.  Stella lay on the floor to have a better view of the whole of the living room... and then watched Tatwo lay down on her cushion.  She was very good and didn't moan...but the second Tatwo got off the cushion she ran across, lay down and refused to get off it for the rest of the day.

Stella is very confused...these 'small dogs' don't bark....no matter how much she shouts at them.  I'm investing money in headache tablet companies as I write...

Feline fine........

So, the Cyprus 6 have arrived!!  Summer is a tortie and white who is very attached to the litter of five that I found as 10 week old kittens, abandoned at the side of a road in Ayia Napa.  There were cat poisonings in the area, and a couple of boy racers were using their jeep to chase a terrified stray dog, which we never saw again :(

I, quite simply, couldn't leave them there.  So, finally, somebody offered to help me and take them into a safe place.  Their own home, where they have around 100 animals they have either rescued or taken in to help animals found by tourists.  Three people were collecting animals from Heathrow yesterday, and ALL of us had rescued them while on holiday in Cyprus.

Last night they slept in my bedroom, to keep them quiet and confined to get over their long journey.

I say quiet......

Tatwo is a monster. At 3am he decided I was getting up and feeding him, and when I ignored him jumped all over me and bit my finger.  This is after deciding last night that I was going to fuss him until way gone midnight...by jumping all over me and nipping my hand.  I'm seeing a pattern here...

Tickles slept in the crook of my neck, head in my hand purring away.  That's how my beloved Tinker slept nearly every night for most of her 17 years.  Only Tickles has a tail, which he likes to flick.  In my face....

Summer and TC remained under my bed and only came out to sneak some food and go back.  They're the quieter ones of the family.  They're slowly adjusting to their new home, mainly thanks to the love of the radiator...

Midnight is  a fluffy girl who likes to be near you but not on you, not yet anyway!  When I was so rudely woken up this morning she was lying on the corner of my bed curled up in my jumper and purring away.

Titch....oh yes, the troublemaker...  Titch was the first to meet Stella.  The cats aren't meant to be meeting Stella just yet as she's rather loud and rather large, a bit of a shock when you're shellshocked from travelling a long way.  Titch, however, has other ideas.  There is a babygate, so Stella can't get to the cats yet, but Titch has long paws, and has bopped Stella on the nose.

Stella, being a loud, noisy - nay, gobby - German Shepherd reacted how most German Shepherds react to most things.  With confusion.  She sat down, looked at Titch, looked at me and "oh" was her response.  

But then, nature called.  So, to the bathroom I went!  Then I heard the rumble of thunderpaws, the clang of a babygate and when I came downstairs, Titch was sat in the hall growling at Stella.  

"Upstairs Titch!" I said.   Titch remained sat.  I took Titch up, settled him and came back down.

He was so traumatised that as I write this....he's tapping at the closed door trying to get back in....

Next week, I shall go back to work for the rest...