Dear Mum
Thank you for showing us the magic doors, we think they're amazing. We just don't know how to work them properly though, do they come with instructions? The little one in the big one lets us go out to the garden, but sometimes it won't open and we smack our noses on it. And when we're outside we want to come back in but Stella keeps poking her head through it, can you tell her it's ours and she's not allowed to play with it please?
We love the magic food doors, but they don't work very well. We got inside the one with all the boxes and tins it. We found those little shiny balls but they're a bit too small to play with and they stick to your paws. Demon said they were supposed to go on her cakes, but we weren't to know were we?! We know you come out of that door with our food, so we looked really hard for it. We know it isn't underneath the silver balls, but we looked behind the cereals you have for breakfast, and in the bag of crisps, and everywhere. Sorry about the mess, but we did put it in a neat pile on the floor. We didn't find any of our food, and we hope you haven't run out of it. You haven't, have you?! Noooooo, please tell us we won't starve! We haven't eaten for all of two long horrible hours, we're wasting away here....
We tried looking behind the magic door with the light. We don't like that one. It's cold and we don't like being cold. And it keeps shutting on our heads, we don't like that either. Please don't keep our food in there, we'll never be able to get to it if you do.
We really love living here Mum. Well actually, we love living with you and Demon and Stella and those funny things at the bottom of the garden that live in the big wire cage. We don't love the rain or the wind though. When we lived in Cyprus we had a big yellow heater in the sky. Can you get one for here too please? But make sure you don't turn it up too much or all the humans get lazy and sleep lots, and as we all know, that's our job....
Lots of love,
The Cats xxxxxx
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